It must not be forgotten that erection problems are a couple’s problem. Fortunately there are also exercises that can be done as a couple and which can help with ED.
These exercises all involve gentle touching and caressing and the exploration of your own and each other’s bodies. Since it is important to involve your partner in dealing with your problem this exercise includes communication between you and your partner. It is important to talk about your problem with your partner so they can play a role in solving it. Let them know where you want to go and how you want them to help. The exercises also involve talking over your problems and reaching an understanding with your partner - let them know that you want to help yourself overcome your difficulties and ask them to help you. Most partners will be relieved that the man is able to discuss his problem and has enough faith in his partner and their relationship to be able to involve the partner in the ‘treatment’. Come to an agreement with your partner that, for the time being, intercourse will not be the focus of your sex. When you reach that agreement you’re ready to begin the exercises.
Firstly, you need to build up confidence about your capacity to release any feelings of anxiety or inadequacy, to arouse yourself and get and maintain an erection (figure 1). On your own, and in a relaxed state of mind, gently touch and stroke your naked body - lightly massage and caress yourself, perhaps in a warm shower, bath, in bed or on a soft rug, using a water-based lubricant, body lotion, soap lather or your own saliva. Think about nothing else, except your sexual feelings - ‘listen’ to your emotions as your fingers gently touch each part of your body, concentrate on your ’self’ and what feelings (emotional and physical) arouse and stimulate you. When you’re ready, let your erotic and sensual thoughts ‘translate’ or transfer to your penis - gradually it will become erect; watch how stiff it can get with only your mind and erotic thoughts maintaining it.
Slowly, gently, let yourself stroke, caress and squeeze your penis (figure 2). Finally, masturbate, letting yourself go completely. When you’ve become confident about self-stimulation and masturbation, try these techniques with your partner.
Find the right time and place for the ‘exploration’ to begin: use massage oil, lotion and lubricants if you wish - start slowly and sensuously with no goal other than relaxation, and feeling good (figure 3). Recall from your own self-stimulation what touches and caresses aroused or relaxed you and ask your partner to try them. Gently massage, touch and explore your partner’s body - find out what stimulates or relaxes your partner, remember to go slowly.
Unless you both feel so inclined, at this stage avoid touching each other’s genitals, you’re aiming to re-acquaint yourself with your own body and your partner’s. The pressure of sex (whether from you or your partner) must not be an issue. Don’t pressure or be pressured by your partner to take these exercises too quickly - when you’re both ready, start to touch and caress each other’s genitals, in tune with what you both desire - and remember to tell each other what is and isn’t a turn-on (figure 4). Ask your partner to hand-stimulate your penis - gently at first, then more vigorously, massaging the tip of the penis, stroking the base and sides, perhaps using a water-based lubricant. At the same time you should ‘let yourself go’, relax and enjoy.
Ninemsn, Nine Network Australia Pty Limited and their related companies and licensors expressly disclaim all responsibility for, and liability in respect of, the accuracy of the information in the fact sheets in any particular circumstances, the improper application of the information and the consequences of anyone’s failure to obtain a proper medical examination and advice from a qualified medical practitioner. Always consult your doctor if you are suffering any medical complaint.